Last Tuesday started like a typical morning for us. It was crazy and I was running around, preparing for the day. But, while walking past the bathroom I stopped dead in my tracks. Evelyn, my 16 month old daughter, was doing something that broke my heart. She was slowly pulling out the bathroom scale.
Inside I cried “No!” I’ve been trying so hard to impart good habits on both my children. Not to have negative self talk, and to show them what a healthy relationship with their bodies looks like. But there she was, carefully pulling out the scale, stepping on it and looking down. After standing on it for a moment, she stepped off and as carefully as she pulled it out, pushed it back and away.
And I wanted to cry. What a wake up call! I had been doing well for so long at not weighting myself obsessively. (A past fault I fully admit to.) But over the last few month I’ve gotten back into the habit of stepping on it often. I was doing it right in front of my children, and they were taking note. As I watched Evelyn walk out of the bathroom I vowed to never EVER again step on the scale in front of my babies. Those precious, shapeable, moldable minds. Because actions speak louder than words. A scale is no definition of health, success, or self worth. So I’m not going to get on it daily, and when I do, it’s not going to be in front of my children. Because my health journey isn’t only for me. It’s to show my little family the value of living life with a healthy body and sound mind.
This week I’ve been evaluating on a more conscious level how I’m conducting myself in front of my children. I am there mother, and they spend 99.9% of their time in my company. At this point in their young lives, I’m their biggest teacher. It’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly. So, I’ll sit here and admit I can be better, and then takes the steps needed to improve. And that’s all that can be asked of any of us! We will all make mistakes in parenting and life in general. The key is in admitting the problem and moving forward. And hey, no beating ourselves up about it okay!? Because again, no self loathing. Understand instead that we can be better, lift that chin up, and make it happen!